Sometimes, we have to make decisions that don't please everybody. Sometimes they aren't always the most fun for ourselves, either. But, they have to be made. Recently, I've been faced with that very situation.
"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6)
The Lord called me to this Proverb today, and this particular verse stood out to me. Oh, how He speaks to us. I've spent so long making decisions on my own, based on my own wants. I know this isn't right, though, and I'm trying to change my ways. It's so hard to admit to being wrong, but I know my God is almighty, and that He knows better than I ever will. No matter what I do, there will always be someone who questions me, and it's very difficult to stand true to my beliefs. But, I know my God would not lead me to do something that isn't for my good and His glory. I know my God has a divine plan and that His will is perfect. The only peace I have these days is found in the knowledge that I am loved and lead by a perfect God who never falters. There have been so many times in my life where His will was not the same as mine. But, of course, who turned out to know best? My God, the one and only true God. Oh, how my passions have turned towards Him lately.
I am not perfect. I make mistakes. Lots of them. But, every day, I'm reminded of His love and compassion. Abby's kicks and nudges remind me of how amazing He truly is. He makes life!! He has blessed me with the opportunity to lead a heart to Him from the very beginning. No pressure or anything, right? Sometimes that can be a little scary, thinking it is my responsibility to be an example and a witness to God for my daughter. But I know that I can do it, because He will be guiding me every step of the way. (She kicked and rolled around just as I reread this paragraph to proofread. What a wonderful feeling!)
Sometimes I feel that my relationship with Christ is on and off, which is my own fault. But I know that He still loves me, and He longs for me to draw nearer to him. The only thing thats gets me through the day is His love and His will for me to continue on this earth. Without Him, I am nothing.
All that being said, I have made some difficult decisions lately. I'm so scared of hurting those that I love. I fear losing those closest to me. But I feel in my heart, my soul, and my mind, that I am doing what is best in the situation. I feel that is is God's will. I honestly feel that the Lord is leading me to do these things, and I have found peace in the knowledge that He would not lead me to do anything that is not wonderful. He knows better than I ever will, and I trust in His unfailing mercy and love.
My prayer: Lord, I come to you today as Your humble servant. I know that I have trusted in my own ways for too long, and I pray for Your forgiveness. Oh, what a gracious God you are for giving us forgiveness for all of our sins. I thank You for all of the beautiful things You have provided for us in this world. I pray for health, healing, wisdom, and peace in troubling times. I pray for those around me who do not know you, that they may come to know what a great God you are. I pray for those who do know you, that I may meet more people who love You like I do, that we may gather and discuss Your greatness. As You have told us, we are not to lean onto our own understanding, but we are to look to you for guidance, and to trust in Your judgement. God, I pray for your will to be done. You know my heart and you know my worries, and I give them all to You. I pray that you will guide me to doing the things that You want, and not to trust in myself. I pray that you will give me peace in Your wisdom, that I will not question Your authority and Your divine knowledge. Lord, you love us so much, and I pray that I can learn to love like you do. When we falter, You remain perfect. I hand over all of my worries to You, I submit only to you. I pray that your will be done. Amen.
I do not say any of this to force my beliefs and my faith down anyone's throats. But, I do not fear "insulting" anybody by sharing personal stories. I only write this to release my thoughts and to perhaps inspire some people who may be in similar situations. I thank all of you who read my posts, but again, I give the glory to God, who has blessed me with a knack for writing. I would love to hear stories from my readers who have been in similar situations, or just want to talk about how God is working in your lives. Thank you again, for reading my posts, and for believing in me. All I can do is ask for prayers from y'all, and pray again myself.
xoxo, a.
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