Worth It...

The title of this post is a little ominous, kinda like the clouds rolling in that are hinting at the chance for snow tomorrow!!! I hate cold weather, but snow is pretty. Except when it turns into snowpocalypse. Then it's not so great. But anyways, in all seriousness, the title of this post means a lot to me, more and more every day.

I know a lot of us get into bad situations, like breakups, loss of jobs and loved ones, or just stressful points in our life. And a lot of the time, we start to wonder if it's worth it. If giving up that Friday night party to study is really gonna help on that test. If taking this stupid class is really going to help in my job field. If waking up extra early to look halfway decent is worth anything at all. I have a lot of thoughts like that. But I'm starting to realize that it really is all worth it. The tough things we have to do, the choices we have to make. Every single thing we do every day affects tomorrow and the rest of our lives. All in all, if you're going somewhere and doing something that is good and bigger than yourself, then yes, those tough choices are worth it.

Every hour of sleep I lose to rock Abigail to sleep when she's crying is worth it. Every time I have to change clothes in a day because she spit up all over me is worth it. Every dirty diaper I change and every bottle I have to wash is worth it. All because my little girl is safe and healthy and happy, and so am I.

Those hours I have to be away from her to go to school are tough, but worth it to get my degree. Those hours I spend dragging my butt to work, still worth it to be able to provide for my little family. The cute clothes and luxuries I give up to buy diapers. No, not glamorous, not fun either. But worth it.

The tough choices I've had to make lately are worth knowing that I'm safe and healthy and happy, too. The toxic people and ideas that I have to let go of. All the negativities in my life and in my head. Pain is only temporary. Heartbreak is only temporary. When I'm serving a God of love, I know that the evil is only temporary. I can take it, I will survive, and it will all be worth it.

What else is worth it? Me. You. Whoever. Sometimes it's hard to look in the mirror and think "yeah, I'm worth it." But I am. I'm worth the effort somebody should have to put in to obtain my affections. I'm worth loving and caring about. I'm worth the respect someone should have for me as a mother, a woman, and a human being in general. I just have to remind myself of it.

Maybe this was a jumbled up mess of a vent session, but that's kind of the point of this entire blog. Just somehow read yourself into these words if you need them, and poof! instant heartfelt encouraging post.

Thanks for reading this mess. Love y'all.

xoxo, a.