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| How freaking good does he look in that uniform????? |
There's probably a million posts and books and forums about this very subject (there is, I checked). You can read millions of accounts of this situation. But nothing will prepare you for the real feeling of your best friend being thousands of miles away in a foreign place where s/he may or may not be in serious danger. I got lucky, Zachary is in the National Guard, so he's safe and gets pretty decent deployments. He's also fortunate enough to be able to communicate regularly through text and FaceTime.
Okay, so here's my thoughts on the matter so far, and my ideas on how to stay sane (from only about 20% into his first deployment). I may be a newbie in this lifestyle, but you gotta start somewhere. I'll admit, some of these are really lame, but at this point ya stop really caring.
- Make a Pinterest board dedicated to your military man. You think I'm kidding? Nope. It makes you feel cute and it definitely distracts you. Plus, homecoming pictures are so precious.
- Go all-out. If you feel that you're both in it for the long run (chances are, you definitely are. Why else would you go through this together?), do it all. Wear your RED on Friday (Remember Everyone Deployed). Put a yellow ribbon on your car. Buy a cute personalized decal (this is the one I bought) to honor your man. It's fun, and it shows him how proud you are!
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| R.E.D. shirt (that he bought for both of us, twinning!), yellow deployment ribbon, and red/white/blue/yellow bracelet that I made and wear all the time. |
- Take every chance you can to talk to him. You're going to miss him. A lot. All the time. Especially for the first few weeks, when you're still trying to figure out how to go about your day without him anywhere near. Time differences suck. But they're workable. Learn his schedule and figure out when you will have the best chance to talk to him. You may have to stay up late some nights, but hearing his voice and/or seeing his face is so worth it.
- Take care of yourself. You will feel crazy, depressed, lonely, upset, scared, discouraged, and a whole medley of other things. But, no matter what, don't let yourself go. He needs you to stay strong. Keep on with your life, and keep him updated. Don't just give up.
- Learn the term "milso" and use it regularly. You definitely aren't the only one, and tagging this term on social media will help you connect to others in your same situation! P.S. "milso" stands for MILitary Significant Other.
- Encourage him. He will probably hate it there. He will probably be really cranky sometimes. His constant "I hate it here. I wanna come home. How many more days?" will probably drive you crazy, but who can blame him? Keep track of the days if you want to. Remind him every day that you love him. Send him silly pictures and let him know you're thinking of him. Let him know that yes, it's a long time, but no, he will not go crazy. Just let him know that you are by his side no matter what.
- Listen to music that reminds you of him. Maybe it's his favorite song, the song y'all listened to in the car all the time, or just a song that reminds you of why you love him. I personally think "Wait For Me" by Theory of a Deadman is perfect, but everyone has their different tastes.
- Write letters. He may not writing a lot (yes Zachary I'm calling you out), but he will appreciate something he can physically hold in his hand to remind him that you're actually real, not just a voice or a text or a picture on a screen.
- Give him a separate ringtone. There are some calls and texts you really want to miss. Not his. You need to know when you better be bustin' your butt to reach that "answer" button.
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| Some great songs for military girlfriends/spouses! |
Keep calm, he's worth the wait.
If you're going through this, you're not alone. Please feel free to share your experiences and personal advice below. :)
xoxo, a.
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